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Go Back   Interesting Devices Ltd > General > Humour
Reload this Page Universal truths
Humour Want to cheer the rest of us up ? Then make your post here. Links to non comercial sites with funny clips or content on them are ok also.

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Default Universal truths - 4th June 2010, 05:47 PM

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the
rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did
not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw
it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an ass from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
  
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Default 4th June 2010, 07:18 PM

Very nice list bud,Merci Beaucoup
  
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5th June 2010, 03:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dude View Post
Very nice list bud,Merci Beaucoup
?? No, that was GONE. I don't think Beaucoup posts here anymore.

Last edited by octoped; 5th June 2010 at 03:49 AM.. Reason: smiley
  
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Default 6th June 2010, 04:13 AM

Hehehe no "Beaucoup" means VERY MUCH (Thought everyone knew that )
  
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Default 6th June 2010, 06:14 PM

"30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists."

That is so true! Motorcycles are fine, but I do hate cyclists...
  
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Default 8th June 2010, 01:13 AM

Screw that, motorcyclist too. Many a times in traffic jams, I see 'em riding 'tween lanes and cars while I'm stuck. Bloody so-n-so's

Also, once, while in either Orlando or Tampa, I accidentally took out one who decided to jet past me while I'm on an on ramp (it was a one lane entrance ramp). He was in my blind right side and I crowed him and his girl onto railing. He started beefing behind me as I pull over on h'way. I stepped out to confront 'em, and 3 or 4 more riders pulled up, one motioned like he was about to fill his hands. Me, not being armed, decided to pull off. They never gave chase; I changed into clean underwear when I got back to hotel.

Also have this neighbour who rides a loud Honda (sound like a Harley; LOOOUD old p.o.s.). Apparently, he only ever circles the block, and my house and at the most inopportune of times. I'm tempted to string up some piano wire across my street.

So, I say again, screw motorcyclists.
  
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